I feel incredibly blessed to have opportunity to visit family and friends in Ontario every summer even though I live and work in Thailand, half the world away. Some wonderful memories are collected during these times when I touch-base with family and friends. This summer, however, the memories were particularly poignant in that my family lost one of our members: my brother-in-law Albert Friesen.
How does one summarize the impact one person has on another through their lifetime? As I shared at the funeral reception, Albert unofficially joined our family when I was only 7 years old so I have lots of memories of him that span from my childhood to adult years. Some early memories always come to mind that demonstrate his caring and giving spirit: spending time downstairs on
Linton Place after Sunday evening services eating A&W hamburgers that he provided; volunteering as my driving coach; and putting up with my constant 'timely passing-by' as my sister and her then-boyfriend tried to say goodbye at the front door... I guess I needed to fulfill my job as the inquisitive 7 year old brother =)
The intent of this blog is to remind me, and those who are interested, of events that happen in my life on a monthly basis. While this is an incredibly sad event that I was able to share with my family this month, I want to revisit this post on occasion and remember exactly how Albert's passion for life so often influenced mine.
TRIBUTE AND MEMORIES OF ALBERT FRIESEN
1946 - 2016
Written by Dianne (wife), Jared (son), Dana (daughter), and Joel (son-in-law)
Although born in Brandon, Manitoba, in 1946, Albert—the third of five children—was raised mainly in Yarrow, B.C., by his parents, Peter and Helen. He grew up on the family farm with older brother Henry, identical twin brother Arthur (who was born 23 minutes before Albert), younger sister Kathleen, and youngest brother Peter.
Their home was characterized by love for the Lord and the desire to serve Him, something his father had instilled in them by example and words when Albert and his siblings were still very young. Albert enjoyed both church life and singing, vividly recalling one Sunday morning, when he was four years old, that a volunteer was requested to sing
The B-I-B-L-E song as a solo. He literally jumped at the chance. He was nine when his family’s church held a week of evangelistic services. During this time one concept became very important to him: the great love of God the Father in sending His Son, Christ Jesus to this world to die for him. From that point on, John 3:16 was a touch-stone verse for him, a pivotal point upon which he based his relationship with the Lord. He accepted the Lord during that week with deep joy.
Albert’s life was filled with times of growth and regression as a Christian in the years that followed. He was baptized at the age of sixteen, but still felt that he did not really know what his relationship with the Lord should be like. In grade eleven Albert began to understand and appreciate both what it meant to be a Christian and his rich Anabaptist-Mennonite spiritual heritage. His first year at
Mennonite Brethren Bible Institute in B.C. was the first time he truly wrestled with the issue of total commitment to God. He realized that he had to put God before his love of music and give up music if that was God’s will. In Albert’s own words, "This was the final straw on the pyre of my own desires. I gave up everything and God made everything possible which I had desired: all the music, the preaching, the joy of serving in Europe and across Canada and the United States."
After graduating from
Mennonite Brethren Bible Institute and working for a year, Albert went to
Mennonite Brethren Bible College in Winnipeg, Manitoba, for a semester in 1969 and then to
Waterloo Lutheran University in Waterloo, Ontario, to continue studying voice with Victor Martens. During these years he met his future wife, Dianne, at
Kitchener Mennonite Brethren Church and they subsequently married in 1973. Afterwards, they moved out to southern Manitoba where Albert had already taught the first of three years at
Winkler Bible Institute. He then went on to complete graduate studies in music of world cultures at the
University of Michigan.
For the next two years, he taught at
Eden High School, a private Christian high school at the time near St. Catharines. Their two children, Dana and Jared, were born during this time. In 1979, Albert felt called to attend seminary, studying for one year at
McMaster Divinity College in Hamilton, Ontario, and then
Mennonite Brethren Biblical Seminary in Fresno, California, graduating with an M.A. in World Mission. For his thesis, he developed a method to aid national Christians and missionaries in non-Western countries to integrate Christian faith and life with the music of their indigenous cultures.
Wanting to follow God, Albert and Dianne agreed to go to Germany as part of
M.B. Mission at the request of one of the pastors there, trusting God to either open or close that door. The door remained open and they moved to Germany for one year in 1981 where Albert studied German at the
Goethe Institute for four months and also served in the Neuwied church.
At the end of that year, he and Dianne were called to pastor a small Christian group in Austria. In time, a church was formed out of that informal group. Albert would often drive around from village to village to pick people up for the weekly Bible study and church service. He and Dianne served there for five and a half years.
Returning to Canada in 1987, Albert pastored churches in Winnipeg, Manitoba; Swift Current, Saskatchewan; and
St. Ann's Community Church in the Niagara region here in Ontario. He greatly invested himself in his calling and had many fond memories of his time serving these church families.
In 1997, Albert was approached by a retiring chaplain from
Tabor Manor, a nursing home in St. Catharines, who said that they still needed a chaplain who spoke German. For the following five years, Albert ministered to these residents with a heart of love, being loved by them as well.
In 2003, at the age of 57, Albert’s family noticed that he struggled with cognitive tasks that had previously been routine. In time he became more forgetful and over three years he began to develop
Parkinson-like symptoms, such as tremors and seizures. He experienced his first grand-mal seizure in the fall of 2007. As a result of that seizure, Albert fell and broke his shoulder, requiring a partial shoulder replacement. This event propelled him into a more advanced and traumatic stage of the illness which the family later came to learn was
Lewy Body dementia. Nevertheless, he remained passionate about ministry and always had a desire to reach out to those in need.
In his struggle to come to terms with his own suffering, he clung to two phrases he had heard in a sermon: "Ready for anything" and "For this I have Jesus". Getting an accurate diagnosis was difficult and the family had to manage challenging symptoms daily. Nevertheless, the family came together and cared for Albert at home until his needs exceeded their abilities and resources. Through it all, it was clear that the Lord had brought Albert to a new level of intimacy with Himself, which sustained him through to the end.
As the family reflects on Albert’s life, especially during his illness, we find contentment and peace that death has released him from the suffering brought on by this disease. Yet his death isn't a relief of a personal burden for us. While our role as caregivers has come to an end, our work was a labour of love. We cherished Albert as we always have and considered it a privilege to care for him every step of the way, no matter how challenging or overwhelming it was at times. He was always worthy of love and care. He was always a son, brother, husband, and father—not least a child of God.
I, Dana’s husband, came into Albert’s life in 2006, after he was already struggling with dementia. I remember his excitement to meet me and how he made me feel welcomed and loved. During his illness, we enjoyed many walks together—through the woods and along the
Grand River—and watching movies at the
Kitchener Public Library. He looked forward to and enjoyed our many walks and would often talk to me about his love for serving the Lord. What stood out to me the most was his love for others. One vivid memory I have of this was shortly after our families had moved to Toronto. Albert had been talking about how he wanted to donate some food and asked me if I could help him. So we went off on a walk to the nearest grocery store where Albert picked out some canned goods and we walked forty-five minutes to the nearest donation bin. Even in the midst of Albert’s struggle with dementia, he was often focused on caring for others.
Dana and Jared recall that Albert loved life because he loved God and people. A joke—or an attempt at one—was never far from his mind. The synergy when he and his twin brother, Arthur, fed off of each other was an event difficult to forget. Albert also felt emotions deeply—both his own and others. His level of compassion for and ability to empathize with others was truly a gift from God. This often translated into opening their home to or hiking in the mountains with neighbours and church family, experiencing the joys and struggles of life together. Even in the small things of life, Albert would drop whatever he was doing to help his children or go out of his way to give them a treat.
There were many cold Saskatchewan winter days when Albert helped Jared finish his paper route of his own volition. He was an amazing father.
Albert’s youngest brother, Peter, adapting a quote from Shannon L. Alder, shares:
"The greatest heroes in life are those that never give up on someone. They stick it out and make it work. They sacrifice things in their life in order to help others grow. They give up what they want because someone needs it more. They work hard and overcome adversity. They fail for a moment, but get back up on their feet to show others they don’t have to stay down. They show their loved ones that love is not ‘proved’ by conformity. They teach others that having a voice is a sign of courage, and they will not stay silent to make people feel comfortable. They are fearless and will do whatever it takes to bring about the greatness in the ones they love because doing so brings them peace."
Peter continues,
"Albert has been my hero since I was a child and he a young man. He fought the good fight. He was generous with far more than material things; he was generous with himself. His legacy is that many people in a few countries have a better life because he and his wife, Dianne, cared more than enough to make a difference. I miss him, but I do not wish him back for my sake. He is in celebration of something and someone that is his eternal joy."
We thank God for Albert.
